How many friends do you have in Facebook, Twitter, or KakaoTalk? Most people would answer hundreds of friends are exist on online. But are you sure they are real friend? I bet only few of us could answer yes.
Nowadays, people use online to make and contact with their friends for two reasons. First, it's easy to make a connect. For example, college students use cellular phone to make friends and talk with them. Use of applications like Facebook, and Kakao talk makes it possible to talk wherever you are. Also, these applications helps you to find friends you may know. Second, online saves time meeting friends. It's hard to meet every freinds because we are busy. However on online, you can check friends recent situaton even though you don't meet them. You can exchange your opinion about friends condition by leaving a comment.
But there are also negative effects about friends on online. First, as it's easy to connet, friendship could become insignificant. When we talk on online, we use a light joke, or slang. You may think it's frienship by using this word at first, but your relationship could become as light as a joke. Second, if you keep your friendship on online for a long time, you may feel awkward when meeting personally. Even though you don't have much time, it's better to meet your friends short time than watching friends picture on online.
Therefore, relationship on online looks comfortable at first, but it could interrupt you to make sincere relationship. You should know Facebook, or Kakao talk are just helping your relationship. It should not occupy great part between you and your friends.
You have done a great job changing from writing a paragraph to writing an essay. Your title is good, but "friends" should be Friends. You also wrote a great hook to open your essay! Also, good work using a simile.
답글삭제One question: What is your topic sentence (thesis statement?
Writing tips:
1. In your second paragraph, you don't have a topic sentence stating that there are positive effects.
2. "make a connection" or "It's easy to connect."
3. Your concluding paragraph is okay, but it needs to make a conclusion related to your opinion of the effects. For example, are there more negative effects?
Good writing overall!